Baby Reindeer is a 2024 miniseries created by, written by, and starring Richard Gadd. Adapted from Gadd’s autobiographical one-man show of the same name, it is a riveting retelling of Gadd’s real life experiences in his 20s. The series follows aspiring Scottish comedian Donny Dunn (played by Gadd) who is working as a bartender at a pub in London when a distressed, middle-aged, heavyset woman takes a seat at the bar but is unable to afford a drink. Feeling sorry for her, Donny offers the woman a cup of tea on the house. This leads the woman, Martha (played by Jessica Gunning), to become a regular at the pub. Martha claims to be a wealthy lawyer and entertains Donny with her stories, while becoming increasingly flirtatious with him. Donny enjoys the attention he receives from Martha, but it quickly becomes clear that she desires more than just friendship. Time and time again, Donny attempts to establish boundaries with Martha, but Martha is encouraged by Donny’s continuous kindness.
The series explores the complex relationship between Donny and Martha, with Donny becoming just as intrigued with Martha as she is obsessed with him. Donny makes choices that, unintentionally, parallel the actions Martha takes. This becomes evident in his relationship with Teri, a trans woman, whom he met under the false alias, ‘Tony.’ As Martha infiltrates every aspect of Donny’s life, his own secrets and lies start to catch up to him, forcing him to reexamine his past. When Donny finally attempts to report Martha to the police, after six months, the officer asks Donny why it has taken him so long to report her.
Episode four is, arguably, the most difficult episode to watch. It flashes back, a few years prior, to when Donny was first starting out as a comedian. It reveals the sexual abuse he suffered at the hands of a much older, more successful man. This led Donny to question his sexuality. He began to wonder if he had always been attracted to men or if it was purely due to the fact that he had been abused by one. I think this is a very interesting area to touch on – the idea of “were they born, or were they made?” This is a direct quote from the film May December, directed by Todd Haynes, that was also distributed by Netflix in 2023.
May December was loosely inspired by the story of Mary Kay Letourneau. It stars Natalie Portman who plays Elizabeth, an actress who travels to Georgia to meet with and study the life of Gracie (played by Julianne Moore) who began her relationship with her now husband, Joe (Charles Melton), when he was 13 and she was 36. Elizabeth and Joe are the same age. Now 36, Elizabeth is unmarried and does not have children, while Joe is married with three children and about to send his youngest off to college. While smoking weed for the very first time with his youngest son, Charlie, Joe has a breakdown and cries in his son’s arms. Joe goes on to have sex with Elizabeth, only to realize that she is just using him for material. Retraumatized, Joe returns home and confronts his wife, Gracie, with the idea that he might have been too young. Gracie feels betrayed by this and turns it around on Joe, claiming that he was the one who seduced her and insisting that he has always been the one in control.
The theme of retraumatization is prevalent in Baby Reindeer, as well, with Donny blaming himself for the ongoing abuse he suffered and his situation with Martha, who also sexually assaulted him. He is unable to perform sexually with his girlfriend, Teri. He masturbates to a picture of Martha, to whom he is not even attracted. Donny’s sexual confusion and ongoing obsession with his stalker lead to the deterioration of his relationships with his loved ones, as the situation is affecting everyone around him.
Donny reaches his breaking point during his set at a standup comedy competition where he confesses everything from Martha to his relationship with a trans woman and being raped by a man. An audience member records Donny’s breakdown, and it goes viral. Martha threatens to show Donny’s parents the video, so Donny preemptively takes a trip to see them and tells them everything. They are supportive, with Donny’s father disclosing his own sexual abuse, having grown up in the Catholic Church.
It is ultimately Martha’s threats against Donny’s parents that result in her being prosecuted and sentenced for harassment. Donny is left to contend with his own lack of self-worth and the hole in his life that Martha is no longer there to fill. The series ends with Donny in a pub, listening to his collection of voicemail recordings from Martha, and being given a beer on the house.
I found this story to be a thought provoking depiction of the effects of trauma. It does not shy away from the gray areas and nuances of what it’s like to go through life in the aftermath of a traumatic event. Richard Gadd gives a bold performance of a character who is flawed, in his own right, while leaving room for subtlety and offering himself, and those around him, grace.